HI ONYI. I KNOW UR HERE x) so ya! HIHI.. see i updated =P I ROX! WOOHOO!

dont push your limits. ur geting on my nerves.. im sorry, i know you have been tolerating me and i cant even stand you for less then 3days.. i hate people chanting the same-o-fucking-shit into my head. especially when its about secret envious feeling. i mean i get irritated easily.. its a miracle i can stand it for 3days. ur freaking geting on my nerves! please back off.. its sick to secretly admire someone.. i really canot stand people doing this shit. you make me feel as if your a perverted asshole. stalking on a innocent girl. to be frank. im a very straight-foward person. and i dont know how much longer i can keep this secret. its better for you to say before i blur it out. whats wrong with you? why dont you have the courage to confess? stop being inferior. theres nothing to be scare off. please freaking go confess.. theres no-fucking-shit to be loss. dont put your dignity so high. if you get rejected.. then its just part of life, theres no fate between both of you. so be it. life isnt fair, cant get what you want sometimes. its part of experiencing life. if you dont try.. you will never know the outcome. you told me straight in my face that your serious about what you said.. so thats good enough.. as long as your true to yourself. unless its all a lie.. then you can go fuck urself. i will offer my help for the last time. and after that its the last straw. i wont bother about friendship or whatever anymore. got it? im sure you got the hint of what im gonna do. so ya. crystal clear?

i really really really dont know why you dont have courage to do it.. cause if it was i.. being a girl.. i would still tell the person i like them.. before its too late. i know i very thick-skin. i so fat and ugly and i dare to do it. SO WHY CANT YOU? i dont mind geting rejected.. as long as i live with no regrets. its not everyday you find someone you truly love. till now i havent even find someone like that. i wish i did.. then maybe i’ll have the determination to go on my big time diet plan haha. yes im lame.. im starting to make a joke out of this!
being inferior is just an excuse. stop being a coward! if you wana talk about inferior. then what about me? better off for me to jump off the building then.

9/10 guys are jerks.. actually 10/10 guys are jerks.. but only 1/10 will admit himself being a jerk.
10/10 guys are horny bastards. what can i say? they are males. but only the ones that pretends to be not open are the true perverts.

actually.. all this crap i just wrote is just to cover up time cause lineage2 server is down. you know im so freaking sad.. i came home so early to play lineage2.. and when im back.. i login game and it announce.. “server is going down in 15minutes for weekly maintence. please find a safe place to log.” and i was like FREAK OMG I TOT ITS THURSDAY THE SERVER GOES DOWN?? i came home so early.. away from my lovely pool table for this.. and i get this! ohwell.. tv now showing my favorite movie! BYEBYE. muahaha I LOVE SONG SEUNG HUN. seunghunnie! saranghaeyo v.v!

(ps: im sorry if what i said was mean. but its facts. you cant run away! face it!)

yawns.. so tired.. just got home from ton-ing again.. this time at airport.. i realize all this ton-ing crap always my idea haha.. and i realize i always become zombie after 6am haha.
played pool before going airport.. they said i improved! i hope i did! shall jio my darling jiejie out to play wif me x). hmm ate at kopitiam. played my favorite game again! adding our left over food together making it disgusting.. this time is soup x) yummie yummie.. yummie until i puke… -.- onyi and weilong now scare.. they ate mcdonald at airport for breakfast.. and onyi was like “muz eat clean clean ar! canot let someone play!” hahahaha…

well.. today i got to know a secret.. i guess i did some bad things! shouldnt have done tat.. but not exactly my fault im sorry.. im protective and possessive.. im sorry! really sorry! but someone was too secretive so how am i suppose to know rite? i swear i asked before but someone denied. hmm.. i guess i shouldve guessed earlier tho.. he liked her! sorry.. my reaction really abit slow sometimes.. i cant see obvious stuff.. as i said im half blind XP haha.. and nope sorry no names allowed x).
geez.. i guess i am jealous.. coz i dont like sharing.. im possessive its hard for me to share my possession (kinda weird tat im calling someone my possession rite? dont like it oso not my problem haha. i dont freaking give a damn. xD) .. but of coz i learn to let go haha.. =x. im sorry i know im selfish. but ohwells xD. i really wana play matchmaker you know? im like dying to do tat.. i retired from being cupid so many years ago… after doing something i regreted haha.. now im soooo tempted to reborn again.. but hai.. someone dont let.. he said let nature takes its cos.. fine watever.. i shall stand still and watch *readys the popcorn!!* haha.. x)

the card game i played at the airport.. the outcome.. for the second one made me jump up and down haha my sis loves me! im the top person in her heart xD.. and the first one.. it kinda made me happy.. tho the card thingy couldnt be real.. but at least its still a hope.. afterall his the first person tat make me feel so touched.. let me hit him as punching bag with no complains.. only person tat helped me wen i was in trouble and was freaking miserable (theres no need to stat down wad troubles tho).. always try make me laugh and cheer me up wen im upset! always help me pay for stuff.. always buy me stuff.. wen im hungry or anything.. before i say it.. he wouldve aready got it.. always help me hold my bag.. with no complains!!! *HINTS THE NO COMPLAIN PART TO JEROME YEU JIE LUN.* first person that help me train my CS.. first person that stand there let me free frag him (im a sore loser i hate losing). the person that buy me the surface im using now.. he had the same disliked of someone tat i hate too haha.. its like we could telepath.. hmm alot of first ba! haha.. i really miss those days seriously.. play CS day and nite.. nite and day.. i could count on him for anything.. no idea how we lost contact tho.. really miss him.. i really hope somehow im able to find him again.. i think jesse should know his number.. but i scare to ask coz i havent talk to jesse for ages.. shes gonna think im using her or something.. she remembering who i am is another thing too..

im starting to wonder if im using someone to sub him.. lol. he really reminds me of him.. tats why im so possessive and treat someone as my possession… i think its very obvious who im saying aready rite? hahaha.. dont misunderstand anything k.. im not thick skin in this sort of thing. =x

aiya.. i duno wads up in my mind.. i wana go on my big time diet plan. i dont wana be freaking fat and ugly lor.. this time make sure i fulfill it.. always fail.. so angry.. i wana wear pretty clothes! i dont want my friends to be disgust coz of me ~.~ hmm actually i feel its working this time tho x) could i be wrong tho? haha. i let you be the judge.. dont make me feel sad please! *fingers crossed* =x

im gonna camp at home after 28dec.. the last day.. good bye my friends.. study hard!! i try my best too! we will see one another again soon… like 6months later after school starts!!

here comes me again! lalala! yes! after declaration of never touching blogs again i have failed to resist! so ya! shall start it on a so called special day xmas x) merry xmas! shall i say a story! since SOME PPL LOVES TO TELL ME STORIES. kkkkk….!

250am… getting ready to pass out and visit dreamland…
259am… phone rings…
300am… elisa calls… blah blah blah hears chanting and chants back…
410am… asleep soundly in my wonderful comfy bed…
411am… phone rings again…
412am… jerome calls… mei! its story time.. i tell you a story before you sleep k!
510am… finally let me sleep!!!! unfortunally im super hyper-active
600am… happily sleeping.. dreaming of flying cows… continue…
730am… yingrui calls… ehhhh i very sian leh!
750am… yingrui goes to shower saying she’ll call back later…
800am… fully awaken.. waiting for phone call that will never come by..
822am… just made this blog and blogging this crap..
823am… going to press on publish post..
824am… forgot to say something… byebye!