watched aquamarine @ PS. with yingy! was quite nice.. quite boring actually -.-” kinda loving/touching.. i wish i had a friendship like aquamarine, claire and hailey! but i guess i can never have….. so.. yes! you don’t need boy girl love! friendship love way better! x) well.. watch it to understand what i mean hehehe!
btw i LOVE aquamarine’s blue hair! im sooo gonna do those attactment one day =)

had lunch with yingy in i-dont-know-what-this-resturant-is-called @ PS. NEVER eat sashimi in this i-dont-know-what-this-resturant-is-called its so disgusting!
ohhh and i swear thats not soap! oops! i mean SOUP! *stares at yingy*. that bowl of soap looks more like bowl of mud watever! =x. OOPS AGAIN. i mean soup!

my favorite orange juice! its yumm-mmie!

to end the post..

i love my sport shoes ^.^ its so comfi! im over with heels and whatsoever!
mama came to fetch me. xD. love her so much. she was working and she bothered to come fetch me! yay! x)
well.. end of post. =x

MTV Star Sign’s Prediction for me today,
“Someone may be a wolf in sheep’s clothing. Use ur sharp vision to spot the seams.”

does that means.. someone i know is being a hypocrite towards me in a harmful way? =/ ohwells……

my conversation with julia, was fun! havent chat with her for so long! and im suprise to find out.. shes 173cm tall! special for asian female k! i feel so short..
and and.. she modelled for GUCCI! (Italian Fashion Show 2006 Apr 22 (Sat) & 23 (Sun) 3:00pm (1st show) 4:00pm (2nd show) Level 1 – Central Atrium A women’s and men’s fashion show on Prada, Gucci, Giorgio Armani, Christian Dior, …) i wish i were in canada! then i couldve gone for the runway show! YES I LOVE RUNWAY SHOWS! i love watching runway shows!

she showed me this sweet poem.. no idea who wrote it, didnt ask.. maybe its her.

One girl looking out her window
One boy walking down the street
He didn’t know it at the time
But when she saw him her heart skipped a beat
One girl playing outside
One boy doing the same
He didn’t know it at the time
But she wanted to know his name
One girl getting hurt by many boys
One boy mending her heart
He didnt know it at the time
But she loved only him from the start
One girl standing outside
One boy asking her out
He didnt know it at the time
But she never had any doubts
One girl loving a boy
One boy loving a girl
He didn’t know at the time but he was her world
One girl’s heart breaks
One boy moves on
He didn’t know it at the time but her love for him wasn’t done
One girl tries to win him back
One boy doesn’t care
He didn’t know it at the time
But she wouldn’t always be there
One girl leaves
One boy stays where hes at
He didn’t know it at the time
But her heart was breaking in half
One girl’s heart is missing
One boy has it you see
He doesn tknow it right now
But the two of them are meant to be.

and.. something lame.. sick.. disgusting.. well maybe.. =p

I will seek and find you I shall take you to bed and have my way with you.
I will make you ache, shake & sweat until you moan & groan.
I will make you beg for mercy, beg for me to stop.
I will exhaust you to the point that you will be relieved when I’m finished with you.
And, when I am finished, you will be weak for days.
All my love,
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
The flu.

what were you thinking? =x

here to update! well.. i got a new phone. so its time for my old one to retire.. it has serve me well for the pass few years. and i should give it a grand funeral!
er.. actually just a post about it! rest in peace my fellow mechanic phone thingy!

also, ever since i got my new phone.. i’ve been hmm, what can i say… self obsessed. =x
and to prove those people that say i deny being a “zi lian kuang”. heres my declaration, confession that i DID NOT deny! and im not being secretive about it!

there! happy? i understand why you all are so zi lian aready. coz you got a phone that can take pictures.. so why put it to waste! hahaha. XD
hmm.. what else.. yes yes!

my sis gave me some of her old textbooks! a good start ^.^ but still need to go buy books! hope i can understand them! XD. gonna start self studying hardcore!
yaya.. i know i always say end up failing.. ohwell.. lets hope this time isnt like this! XD

this is the best mints ever, slim mints

guess whats in this bag??
hmm.. how come i can take picture?? O.O

YES! MY DREAM PHONE! muahaha XD. w800i

my grandmother (mother’s mom) passed away yesterday morning. i didnt even know till 10minutes before leaving for the funeral, which was last night.
i feel god damn guilty.. really. i cant run away from the facts of not having a single tear for this matter.. cause i seriously have no feelings at all for it. but cant blame me, i hardly know her.. i only see her once a year or maybe not even once?
had a talk about this “not feeling upset” thing with a friend.. she said it wasnt something new. she didnt drop a tear when it happen on her. kinda relief to me that i wasnt the only one with a cold heart. hehe.
yes! im evil. im sorry. i really wish i wasnt so cold hearted, towards this matter. kinda obvious there really isnt much bond between us.

at the funeral was very boring. first we went to pay our last respect to granny. i take a glance and didnt dare to take the second.. i get nightmares.. really am coward towards this sort of things.
hmm.. my mummy said she dont like to bring her friends to this sort of occation. ends up seeing 2 tables of all her friends. and she happily blahing to them!
celest, chiwei and i.. boredly waited at another table! started going crazy? we were playing with the peanuts.. drawing pictures using peanuts.. and guessing what it was lol.
we also had a fun time bitching about our cousins and that stupid uncle and auntie of ours. such a disgrace to have such family members related to us you know? stuck up, arrogant, self-centered, boot-licking. dogs. ohwait. they aint even good enough to be a dog. roflol. yes! no denial on that! surely! =)

thanks for the concern. but you dont really understand. i clearly know all you have said during primary school. seriously what i have seen and understand could be even more clear then what you know. i have gone through so much lecture.. from family, online friends, rl friends, teachers, psychologist, social workers and whatsoever.. so please i dont really need more lecture from you.. i thank you once again for caring. but you need not repeat what i have been chanted at.

im pretty sure you and yingrui should aready realise im sick and fustrated over the problems we have gone thru before. some mistakes we did that almost ended our friendship countless of times. and i have aready swear i will not interfere with whatever you all do. and that is why my phone is switched off most of the time (you should know this if you actually tried to call me. and no its not recent. my phone has been off for months, unless ying complains, then i have no choice but to on it.)

what i was trying to say is.. i dont care who you put infront, your boyfriend or us. i wont care if your bias. as long as our friendship isnt affected, due to hush words or whatever. as i said i wun interfere and ive put jealousy aside.

as for that day.. if you didnt talk about it, i wouldnt even remember. so how can i be angry over something i forgot? do you actually really think im that petty? and i wasnt exactly sick. it was just a side affect the medication im under does.

your right about one thing, i really think you think too much. but your wrong about me being angry that day.
what really making me upset is this sentence “i dont know if you’re angry or being hypocriptical anot”.
how can you associate me with the word hypocrite? is that what you really think of me? i hope interpret it wrongly or you used the wrong word. if not, im very disappointed..

anyway.. we cant tell the future.. i might become a millionaire today. i might die tomorrow. anything could happen. life is unpredictable. if i was suppose to suffer later on. i guess i cant run away from it. chinese saying.. “guo yi tian, shi yi tian”. i’ll go with the flow. and let fate takes its place. whats destined to happen will happen.

this is an official annouce to those that do not know this.
i know everyones been hoping for me to go school.. i seriously did register, but i couldnt bring myself to get adapted to it. its pretty hard if you think about it.
i havent socialize for quite a long time and havent been in school for ages. studying isnt the problem.. and no its not an inferior low self esteem reaction. its something due to psychology that even a psychologist cant explain to me. and so if anyone suggest i visit a psychologist again.. theres no use, been there done that.
and please do not ask me ‘why’ cause.. i really cant explain why. if i could.. i wouldnt have visited a psychologist.
you have to experience what i feel to understand how it feels. somethings cant be explained with words. if i could understand myself, i wouldve been able to answer myself and if i could answer myself.. schools wouldnt exist.
if you could answer this “which came first the hen or the egg?” then i will give you an answer of why im reacting this way.

im sorry that ive been a let down to many people. i was seriously excited that i was going to school.. and i really wanted to. but i didnt expect i would suddenly have this reaction when the day was around the corner. i get nightmares and wake up in the middle of my sleep in cold sweat.. the thought of going to school soon became a horror movie.. everytime i think of it, i get cold shivers down my spine!

i know i let one particular person down and upset.. i said cruel stuff that was honestly partly true.
if you never want to talk to me, im cool with it.. its okay. (i know you dont want to.. since you hang my phone. )
whatever i do to my life, its my choice. and i will bare the consequences.
however if you want to judge me by my education level.. then theres nothing else to say. i dont need a certificate to prove my intelligence. its just a piece of paper for god sake!
i know it means alot to society.. but isit that important in our friendship? and no im not being arrogant.. no one on earth is stupid unless your born retarded.
if you feel ashame having a friend that has low qualification, i will not hold you back. your free to spread your wings and fly. good bye.