that saying.. do you know how hurting it was? the way you state it.. even if you didnt stab me.. i wouldve stabbed myself.
do you know it sounded like i was stealing your friends? do you know how low i felt? im sorry for “stealing” your friends.. but i thought they were mine too? im not trying to make myself sound pitiful.. im not asking for anyones kindness upon me, you know?
your last message was telling me indirectly that everyone hates you and its indirectly my fault cause of some comments people gave me and not to you. so, im sorry.. for advertising in every source that i have that its my birthday.
you know how lucky you are? you didnt need to advertise that and people automatically greets you.
infact.. people even advertise for you..
and NO one even hates you.. that relates more to me then you.
are those comments that important anyway? i dont give a fuck about birthdays anymore.. cause of a birthday, i lose my bestfriend.. i rather wish i never had my first birthday, never existed.
i really feel like just disappearing forever.. im not being dramatic or what.. but did you know it hurt so much that i when crazy then somehow started tearing. my mum thought i really lost it this time. you know? i think i wouldve been sent to woodbridge if today wasnt my birthday lol… i swear she really wants to put me in woodbridge so badly!!
i cant believe that this year’s birthday.. my heart had to die afew times before the day is over.. i wish i didnt advertise that its my birthday.. (great. o.o im still advertising it)
your probably going to think that im being a drama queen again eh? if you think that way i cant stop you anyway.. .. .. OKAY i am being a little bit dramatic.. but thats me ~_~;;
but anyway.. what i wanted to say was.. even though others might have forgot to wish you happy birthday.. but at least i didnt! or am i not worthy enough for you?
you will forever be my bestest best friend!~ as i said before.. if it wasnt for you and them plus kristy and kevan.. i wouldve already killed myself long ago (you know this better then anyone else).. you all taught me how to think positively.. which touched me in a way O_O.
shall i repeat the 101% change of me in the past 3years? there are so many.. but LOL 1 simple example.. before i was SUPER DUPER LOW SELF ESTEEM INFERIOR BLAH BLAH (i mean like.. i freaking looked like a zombie before! LOL). i didnt even cared about my outer appearence.. WHICH REALLY SHOCKED ME.. wen i saw those pictures tat i reluctantly took in the past.. confidential!! NO ONE EVER LEAK THOSE PICTURES OUT.. or i will hunt you down like an animal! HARDCORE! get it? LOL.. so.. and now.. the changes? .. im the “CUTEST” BIG TIME SELF OBSESSION BRATTY GURL! (and your scary time bomb that will goes kaboomy anytime if you mess with it! or defy my cuteness HAHA) ohh another fact is that.. i cant keep away from the mirror.. yes! i admit.. i even have a mirror in my bag! and you would always ask me for a mirror and definately know i will have one LOL.. is that a complete change or what?
anyway… i know that.. one thing never changed after all these years.. and never will!.. its very important! to me at least.. and that is.. you and me.. me and you.. best friends forever!~ now and after.. and always.. forever together.. till the very end!! .. .. … whatever! etc.. you get the point!
so lets continue back to the topic <_< damn.. im so self obsessed.. i cant take a minute off talking about myself haha.. what? im being honest =x.. /hides
maybe the stress you had for your exams driven you emotionally unstable.. and if you read the whole thing o.o i guess you might realise the moods in this post.. changed.. my emotions were unstable too.. due to the problems i have.. its quite sad.. having such problems.. and still having to hear other people’s problems.. worse of all.. someone adding more problems to my problems.
PROBLEMS PROBLEMS PROBLEMS PROBLEMS PROBLEMS PROBLEMS PROBLEMS PROBLEMS PROBLEMS PROBLEMS PROBLEMS PROBLEMS PROBLEMS PROBLEMS PROBLEMS PROBLEMS PROBLEMS PROBLEMS PROBLEMS PROBLEMS PROBLEMS PROBLEMS PROBLEMS PROBLEMS PROBLEMS PROBLEMS PROBLEMS PROBLEMS
i was problem-free for awhile you know?! so carefree you know?! till that person tell me about his wonderful love affair thingy O_o i sense.. that was jinx.. after he talked about that.. my problems rolled in like theres no tomorrow!~ honestly.. i was a little tiny bit scare of him for a little tiny while.. but then i realise.. i dont even exactly know him. haha. besides.. it doesnt even relate to me.. i was just borrowing my pair of eyes to read what he has to say.. my brain to suggest and comment.. and my pair of hands to type and reply what my brain directs my fingers to type LOL
then again.. after being a little tiny scare for a week thats why i didnt appear in certain place.. i realise that.. that fear wasnt fear.. it was more like anger anxious.. worried!.. cause i knew he was doing something wrong.. but i cant stop him from doing it. he himself is lost i guess.. hmm.. somehow.. i wish he read this post.. so that he’ll stop telling me about it.. so i’ll have 1 less problem to care about.. then again.. i’ll feel bad.. he cant exactly tell anyone else o.o i’ll be such a lousy friend to tell him to buzz off yea?
hmm.. you know.. i seriously treasure all those aussie/viet friends.. dunno why!~ they give me that family feeling which i never had! me love kristy and kevan and all those dumb dumb viet aussies! so.. i really dont mind helping him by letting them nag at me o.o they bother to entertain me.. so i will do so too XD me <3 them..! ahuhz ahuhz =D dont misunderstand my <3 for ANY them Oo its no where near romance type!~ e-relationships? ewww.. get real!! =p i anti rl-relationship.. why would i even bother about E? =x
i love you you love me we are happy family!
damn.. out of topic again.. lol.. ok.. last of all i have to say o.o which might make you punch me.. (I HOPE YOU PUNCH ME.. or i might really cry..) YES IM A CRYBABY! SO? STUFF IT!
but.. if.. for any weird reason which i hope doesnt occur.. that you wish i would fade away.. i will surely do as you say and never appear in any of you(s) life if it makes you happier.. o.o
damn o.o such a long post.. i think i seriously like writing.. writing crap.. i relieves stress you know? try it! =pPp