KAKAKAKA. IM GETTING A NEW LAPTOP XD! FOR FREE! O.o WATCH ME MULTI TASK SOON =PPP play 2 games at once o.o.o.o.o

and and.. IM NEVER FUCKING GONNA TRUST ANOTHER BLARDY ADULT. THEY ONLY KNOW HOW TO BREAK PROMISES AND MAKE YOU CRY!!!!! THEN CALL YOU A DAMN CRYBABY!!!! FUCK OFF ADULTS!!!

i know o.o i will be an adult one day soon.. wen tat day comes i’ll hate myself too.. but i wont follow in the footsteps of these empty-promises adults o.o.o.o

STUFF THIS SHIT. I HATE THE SIGHT OF YOU BITCH. YOU MAKE ME SICK. HAHA

GOING OUT WITH MY DEARIES SOON TO WATCH HAPPY FEET! MISS THEM!!

PS, DANCING PENGUINS ARE FREAKING CUTEEEEEEE!!!

why do i even bother to cheer others up by telling them “positive” stuff that i totally disagree on? why do i bother to tell them lies just to make them feel better? why do i even try to think that life isnt all that bad? such small matter can become such chaotic drama. you know what? my last wire just cracked. my brain just cracked. im cracked. i wont tell myself anymore to look on the brighter side. i wont bother telling anyone lies anymore. i wont bother cheering anyone up anymore. you depress me more for telling me stuff that i have to lie to you to make you feel better.

those darlings that keeps telling me deathwishes.. i wont tell you anymore to not think about it. infact.. i’ll be such a dear friend.. i know humans have this little thing called fear. so, don’t leave me out! i’ll join in your little fun.. lets have a mass suicide =). choose the time date location! i’ll come to you! how do you wanna die? jump off a building? the old school way? poison? maybe a little drama? car accident? i’ll drive.. i make sure we’ll end. KO perm!

call me! x)

Bold the statements that are true to you.
Italise the statements that you WISH are true.
Leave the Fibs alone.
Then, stab 5 people to do the same test.

I miss somebody right now.
I do not watch tv these days.
I wear glasses or contact lenses.
I love to play video games.
I have tried marijuana.
I have been in a threesome.
I believe honesty is usually the best policy.
I have changed mentally over the last year.
I carry my knife/razor everywhere with me.
I curse.
I’m totally smart.
I’ve broken someone’s bones.
I’m paranoid sometimes.
I would get plastic surgery if it were 100% safe, free of cost, and scar-free.
I need money right now.
I love sushi.
I talk really, really fast.
I have long hair.
I have lost money in Las Vegas.
I have at least one sibling.
I have worn fake hair/fingernails/eyelashes in the past.
I couldn’t survive without Caller ID.
I like the way I look.
I am usually pessimistic.
I have a lot of mood swings.
I have a hidden talent.
I’m always hyper no matter how much sugar I have.
I have a lot of friends.
I am currently single.
I have pecked someone of the same sex.
I enjoy talking on the phone.
I practically live in sweatpants or PJ pants.
I love to shop.
Enjoy window shopping.
I would rather shop than eat.
I don’t hate anyone.
I’m a pretty good dancer.
I’m completely embarrassed to be seen with my mother.
I have a cell phone.
I believe in God.
I watch MTV on a daily basis.
I have passed out drunk in the past 6 months.
I’ve rejected someone before.
I want to have children in the future.
I have changed a diaper before.
I’ve called the cops on a friend before.
I’m not allergic to anything.
I have a lot to learn.
I’m shy around members of the opposite sex.
I have made a move on a friend’s significant other or crush in the past.
I have tried alcohol before.
I own the South Park movie.
I would die for my best friend.
I think that Pizza Hut has the best pizza.
I have used my sexuality to advance my career.
I love Michael Jackson, scandals and all.
Halloween is awesome because you get free candy.
I watch Spongebob Squarepants and I like it.
I am happy at this moment!
I’m obsessed with guys. — (then i’ll be more normal.. hahaha =X)
I tie my shoelaces differently from anyone I’ve ever met.
I study for tests most of the time.
I am comfortable with who I am right now.
I have more than just my ears pierced.
I walk barefoot wherever I can.
I have jumped off a bridge.
I love sea turtles.
I spend ridiculous money on makeup.
Plan on achieving a major goal/dream.
I’m proficient in a musical instrument.
I worked at McDonald’s restaurant.
I hate office jobs.
I love sci-fi movies.
I think water rules.
I went college out of state.
I like sausages.
I love kisses.
I fall for the worst people.
I adore bright colours.
I can’t live without black eyeliner.
I don’t know why the hell I just did this stupid thing.
I usually like covers better than originals.
I can pick up things with my toes.
I can’t whistle.
I can move my tongue in waves, much like a snake’s slither.
I have ridden/owned a horse.
I still have every journal I’ve written in.
I can’t stick to a diet.
I talk in my sleep.
I try to forget things by drowning them out with loads of distractions.
I have jazz in my blood.
Climbing trees is a brilliant past-time.
I wear a toe ring.
I can’t stand at LEAST one person that I work with.
I am a caffeine junkie.
I cosplay or know what cosplaying is.
I have been to over 15 conventions.
I will collect anything, and the more nonsensical the better.
I’m an artist.
I only clean my room when necessary.
I like a person of the same sex.
I love being happy.
I am an adrenaline junkie.

that saying.. do you know how hurting it was? the way you state it.. even if you didnt stab me.. i wouldve stabbed myself.

do you know it sounded like i was stealing your friends? do you know how low i felt? im sorry for “stealing” your friends.. but i thought they were mine too? im not trying to make myself sound pitiful.. im not asking for anyones kindness upon me, you know?

your last message was telling me indirectly that everyone hates you and its indirectly my fault cause of some comments people gave me and not to you. so, im sorry.. for advertising in every source that i have that its my birthday.
you know how lucky you are? you didnt need to advertise that and people automatically greets you.
infact.. people even advertise for you..

and NO one even hates you.. that relates more to me then you.

are those comments that important anyway? i dont give a fuck about birthdays anymore.. cause of a birthday, i lose my bestfriend.. i rather wish i never had my first birthday, never existed.

i really feel like just disappearing forever.. im not being dramatic or what.. but did you know it hurt so much that i when crazy then somehow started tearing. my mum thought i really lost it this time. you know? i think i wouldve been sent to woodbridge if today wasnt my birthday lol… i swear she really wants to put me in woodbridge so badly!!

i cant believe that this year’s birthday.. my heart had to die afew times before the day is over.. i wish i didnt advertise that its my birthday.. (great. o.o im still advertising it)

your probably going to think that im being a drama queen again eh? if you think that way i cant stop you anyway.. .. .. OKAY i am being a little bit dramatic.. but thats me ~_~;;

but anyway.. what i wanted to say was.. even though others might have forgot to wish you happy birthday.. but at least i didnt! or am i not worthy enough for you?

you will forever be my bestest best friend!~ as i said before.. if it wasnt for you and them plus kristy and kevan.. i wouldve already killed myself long ago (you know this better then anyone else).. you all taught me how to think positively.. which touched me in a way O_O.

shall i repeat the 101% change of me in the past 3years? there are so many.. but LOL 1 simple example.. before i was SUPER DUPER LOW SELF ESTEEM INFERIOR BLAH BLAH (i mean like.. i freaking looked like a zombie before! LOL). i didnt even cared about my outer appearence.. WHICH REALLY SHOCKED ME.. wen i saw those pictures tat i reluctantly took in the past.. confidential!! NO ONE EVER LEAK THOSE PICTURES OUT.. or i will hunt you down like an animal! HARDCORE! get it? LOL.. so.. and now.. the changes? .. im the “CUTEST” BIG TIME SELF OBSESSION BRATTY GURL! (and your scary time bomb that will goes kaboomy anytime if you mess with it! or defy my cuteness HAHA) ohh another fact is that.. i cant keep away from the mirror.. yes! i admit.. i even have a mirror in my bag! and you would always ask me for a mirror and definately know i will have one LOL.. is that a complete change or what?

anyway… i know that.. one thing never changed after all these years.. and never will!.. its very important! to me at least.. and that is.. you and me.. me and you.. best friends forever!~ now and after.. and always.. forever together.. till the very end!! .. .. … whatever! etc.. you get the point!

so lets continue back to the topic <_< damn.. im so self obsessed.. i cant take a minute off talking about myself haha.. what? im being honest =x.. /hides

maybe the stress you had for your exams driven you emotionally unstable.. and if you read the whole thing o.o i guess you might realise the moods in this post.. changed.. my emotions were unstable too.. due to the problems i have.. its quite sad.. having such problems.. and still having to hear other people’s problems.. worse of all.. someone adding more problems to my problems.

PROBLEMS PROBLEMS PROBLEMS PROBLEMS PROBLEMS PROBLEMS PROBLEMS PROBLEMS PROBLEMS PROBLEMS PROBLEMS PROBLEMS PROBLEMS PROBLEMS PROBLEMS PROBLEMS PROBLEMS PROBLEMS PROBLEMS PROBLEMS PROBLEMS PROBLEMS PROBLEMS PROBLEMS PROBLEMS PROBLEMS PROBLEMS PROBLEMS

i was problem-free for awhile you know?! so carefree you know?! till that person tell me about his wonderful love affair thingy O_o i sense.. that was jinx.. after he talked about that.. my problems rolled in like theres no tomorrow!~ honestly.. i was a little tiny bit scare of him for a little tiny while.. but then i realise.. i dont even exactly know him. haha. besides.. it doesnt even relate to me.. i was just borrowing my pair of eyes to read what he has to say.. my brain to suggest and comment.. and my pair of hands to type and reply what my brain directs my fingers to type LOL

then again.. after being a little tiny scare for a week thats why i didnt appear in certain place.. i realise that.. that fear wasnt fear.. it was more like anger anxious.. worried!.. cause i knew he was doing something wrong.. but i cant stop him from doing it. he himself is lost i guess.. hmm.. somehow.. i wish he read this post.. so that he’ll stop telling me about it.. so i’ll have 1 less problem to care about.. then again.. i’ll feel bad.. he cant exactly tell anyone else o.o i’ll be such a lousy friend to tell him to buzz off yea?

hmm.. you know.. i seriously treasure all those aussie/viet friends.. dunno why!~ they give me that family feeling which i never had! me love kristy and kevan and all those dumb dumb viet aussies! so.. i really dont mind helping him by letting them nag at me o.o they bother to entertain me.. so i will do so too XD me <3 them..! ahuhz ahuhz =D dont misunderstand my <3 for ANY them Oo its no where near romance type!~ e-relationships? ewww.. get real!! =p i anti rl-relationship.. why would i even bother about E? =x

i love you you love me we are happy family!

damn.. out of topic again.. lol.. ok.. last of all i have to say o.o which might make you punch me.. (I HOPE YOU PUNCH ME.. or i might really cry..) YES IM A CRYBABY! SO? STUFF IT!

but.. if.. for any weird reason which i hope doesnt occur.. that you wish i would fade away.. i will surely do as you say and never appear in any of you(s) life if it makes you happier.. o.o

 

damn o.o such a long post.. i think i seriously like writing.. writing crap.. i relieves stress you know? try it! =pPp

Does anyone remembers? Maybe.
Does anyone bother? NOPE!
Does anyone care? Doesnt seem so..
Am I asking for too much? Kinda, I guess?
Who thinks im crazy? MY MOTHER!
Who threw money at me.. after accidently saying “Are you crazy?” in a serious tone, on my birthday? MY MOTHER! (WOOT)
Who asked me if i wanted to see a psychologist? MY MOTHER (IM SOO TOUCHED!)
Who thinks im being dramatic? … *talk to the hand*
Maybe? Im being paranoid.

Im sad.. but it doesnt really matter.. life sucks! how could i ever think it doesnt? HA! what a joke x_X.

currently i can say to anyone that im perfectly normal and can think straight. so im definately NOT CRAZY $%^&*()_+. but i wont confirm that i will remain sane for a long time.. if someone non stops chants into my brain that im crazy.. WHICH WILL CONTINUE TO HAPPEN.. coz it never ended for a year already.. so.. .. .. fuck off bitch!! omg you make me start to hate you. my life rox without you in the story. stuff me with money right? go ahead all you want. but i dont wanna hear a shit from you. stop putting crap into my head!! I DONT WANT ANY OF THAT.

what kind of mother are you? to say such things to your daughter? im really such a disgrace to you eh? i cant live up to ur expectations. so be it. dont need to treat me as ur daughter. ohwait.. you never did.. im always called that ‘BURDAN’ EH? why the fuck did you ever give birth to me then? hell yes im pushing blame back to you.. unlike you that pushes blame to everyone else that exist and refuse to blardy hell admit it. WOOT. your so great that i feel like puking.. stuff it k? stuff all that shit. mostly.. stuff you!!

PS, ur the god damn one that needs to see a psychologist.

 

so.. i’ll be all alone at home (well not exactly alone but yea alone o.o).. since i think celest forgot about bringing me to malaysia.. cause if she remember.. she wouldve reminded me to wake up at 5am o.o so yea she forgot.. my dearies having exam.. so yea o.o they must hardcore study! o.o all alone… ALONEEE.. loner.. +.+ sadness.. there was gonna be a suprise from someone.. but my maid totally blew it by indirectly telling me.. so screw that o.o but at least there was gonna be a surprise.. that doesnt exist anymore.. so yea.. doesnt matter if theres any suprise.. O_O only a bday.. the first day my misery started.. the first day i step on this cruel world.. cruel life.. cruel fate.. cruelty to vanessa aka vampy.. sad panda me x_x I SHOULD BE HATING BIRTHDAYS! yea.. thats it.. reverse psychology -.- damnnn me rox -.-…

and they ask me why i like spending so much time infront of my comp playing games.. know why? SO OBVIOUS. cause people i know on the net unlike people i know in reality.. actually REMEMBERS MY BIRTHDAY.. i mean like.. i dont exactly know them.. and they bother to entertain me.. so who are the real friends?? O.o ask me to choose reality to virtual reality.. without thoughts.. im sooo definatelly choosing virtual reality!!

stuff reality! im staying in my fantasy!

me <3 kristy kevan alfred patrick julia!! and maybe theun for cheering me up O.o! 

gonnaaaaa huggg lineage and warcraft3 tomorrow… STUFF REALITY!! who needs it <_< stuff my bday +.+ yes.. im whining and complaining! get over it!!

ohh.. this was suppose to be a very pathetic sad sorrowful full of hurt post o.o end up to be a little long.. sarcastic dramatic poetic? comedic? whateveric o.O ahahaz.. damnitic i rocktic wootic! im making up words lol! enough with the nagging!! im gonna cry at a corner <_< cyas!~