Hand hurts so badly! Feel like sleeping the whole day… feel like sleeping forever and don’t wake up o.o wishing that everything is just a dream. Seriously my hand hurts so badly. 6hours in the kitchen is no joke… I rather be running 6km than spending 6hours in the kitchen staring at the fire. haha

Feel like taking sleeping pills for a week or something so I can go into a deep hibernation mode. SLEEEEEEEP. Feels so blissful. Just wanna lay in my bed like a corpse watching my dvd’s. =x

It’s gonna get tough but I think I’m gonna try find a job soon. Some chocolate or cake shop!

The only wish I have left is… I’m not a super cheerful person and it’s hard for me to smile. But I really wish one day I’ll be able to be that patissier that can make people smile happily from their hearts just by feeding them lotsa sweet stuff.

Then again… ANN SMILED CAUSE OF MY TIRAMISU! She’s like… “VANNNNNIE YOUR TIRAMISU TASTE SO NICEEE. Can you make more next time??”

I’m contented (:

Found a 4days course for baking. $340.. but its on august. I’m gonna apply for it! Gonna make my lovelys lotsa sugary delights. MUAHAHA.

Monday onwards will be a new start. Let fate decide. Won’t dwell on it anymore.

SMILES(:

The Exception or The Rule.

VANESSA IS HAPPY. LOVE YOU MY BOY~
HALF WAY THERE. WHO CARES ABOUT FOOD. FOOD MEANS NOTHING TO ME. HAHAHA.
Then again o.o; I’m starting to have so much cravings… omg.. FOCUS. FOOD IS EVIL FOOD IS BAD….. at least for now. =x
Love the early mornings. Love the late nights. Love every alternate days.

God is really giving me back the only thing I ever needed. My confidence. (:

Feel like going shopping now. Hmmm… What’s there to feel? I’m just gonna go. HAHA. LOVE THE FACT THAT I CAN GO OUT ALONE NOW. Don’t have to depend on others. I feel so independent.. in some ways.. o.o;

Biggest goal: Be financially independent.

Thanks for giving me the miracle diet.
Thanks for making me lose my appetite. LOL
Thanks for all the care, concern and attention given. XD
Thanks for talking on the phone with me for hours. (yingy, elisa & jer)
Thanks for reading my crap on msn.
Thanks for staying up with me just to make sure I’m alright!
Thanks for the love and thanks for the hate. ^^
Thanks for the tears and thanks for the laughter.
Thanks for teaching me how to cook.
Thanks for teaching me about wine.
Thanks for the pain and thanks for the cure.
Thanks for bringing me to this world.
Thanks for giving me the chance to feel loved.
Thanks for blessing me with wonderful people.
Thanks for the past and thanks for the present.
Thanks for the future that I’ll do my best in.
Simply, thanks for everything and everyone. (:

The life of a loner is… SO FUN! and I’m not lying to myself. o.O
No one to tell you what to do. No one to tell you where to go. You can choose whatever you want to do or go. I wanna eat western, I shall eat at Jack’s Place. No one is gonna say “I wanna eat Sakae Sushi actually..” to confuse decisions. When your really bored just make a phone call and talk shit about what you saw, there’s really alot of weird people doing weird things. I’m laughing to myself whenever I go out! Also, you can gossip out loud on the phone and no ones gonna care what you say. HAHA

Stay at the library or MPH reading for hours, no ones gonna tell you “lets go.”
Go shopping for clothes and when you find something you like, no ones gonna say “eeks thats ugly.”

MOST IMPORTANTLY. I can watch movies alone, pick the movie I WANT TO WATCH and cry or laugh if I felt like. Rather watch alone then with someone, when that someone is just gonna say.. “SHHH.. just watch.” or “SHH.. I don’t know.” What’s the point with watching with others!

Seriously, this sort of lonliness means nothing to me. I’m not that kind of person that always needs someone by my side. Most of my life I’ve been alone. When I’m around people, I don’t feel as happy as being alone. Sometimes I enjoy the company of others, but mostly being alone is so peaceful.

One fact that I’ve learn. No one is gonna be by your side forever. If you’re gonna think they will always be there, your wrong. Beacause It’s gonna hurt when they leave and they will leave. Conclusion: Find your own solutions, fix your own problems. Be independant and learn to be alone.

And It’s not that I can’t make friends. I just don’t see the need for it? I already have afew very special darlings. And that’s all I need. They are always there for me whenever I’m depressed. LOVE YOU YINGY AND MY GIRLS. LOVE YOU KRISTY AND MY VIET BOYS. (:

It fucking hurts you know? You were someone important to me. But this is how you put our friendship to be. The fact is that you have changed and I’m happy for you. You support me through my hardest time. But I really can’t accept the stuff you did to me. I can’t find a reason for me to forgive you. I’m sorry. It hurts more than a breakup. Still I can’t help but to ask, does our friendship really mean anything to you?! WHY STAB ME IN THE BACK YOU ASSHOLE. GUYS ARE ALL ASSHOLES!

Let’s take a rollercoaster ride into my life, I welcome you to this breathtaking horror movie.

There’s a certain point of time where we all have to burst out in emotions. Like machines, we can break down. Death isn’t a fear anymore when it reaches to this extend, yet you’re trying so hard to find an excuse to stay alive. People come and people go. The ones you wish for them to stay will always be the first out the door.

Doesn’t it feel so tempting to find yourself a corner and bury all the unhappiness? But you end up digging your grave. You know what’s wrong, you know whats right. But you decide to follow what your heart says, then again what does it really wants? You reach out to find the cure, but ended up taking the poison.

I had left my heart somewhere cold and dark, my soul has gone missing ever since.

Toss and turn, throw me into a raging storm. Like climbing up a mountain, you see yourself reaching the top but miss a foothold and fall right back down. The whispering winds always has its way to drive me up the wall. Like taking the wrong step, you end up getting stuck in the quicksand. The whispering winds will always find its way to pull me down to hell.

I fear to forget, I fear to regret. I’m too afraid of myself and the decisions I make. I want to keep sane in reality, yet I wish to be alone in my own world. Ignorance is bliss, but pain is blissful too, because I know I’m only human afterall.

Aion is loves! You get to customize your character. Super short or super tall, big head or small head etc etc. Similar to perfect world! As in, character creation wise. (:
I LOVE MY LITTLE ANGEL! XD

8 more days till I can completely concentrate on gaming again and of cause study o.o; hope I won’t fail the exam~

Let’s play Aion together and make matching couple names. Let others be envy of us!
Will I have the chance? Highly unlikely but ohwells. 8more days and I can rest in peace. (:

Somewhere over the rainbow, there’s someone waiting for me.
And I hope you will be the one that I’ll meet on the other side. (: