1: Clean room
2: Pack cabinet
3: Train self to wake up in the morning and not during late afternoons
4: Comb doll’s messy hair
5: Dress dolls up in their new outfits that has been rotting at a corner for a long time
6: Put all the dolls back to its proper place
7: Buy obitsu’s for remaining pullips that has been stuck in their ugly bodies for a long time
8: Buy Elisa’s present
9: Finish work quickly or someone will nag me to death
10: Go exercise or get nagged to death again

I almost forgotten how life was being alone. Having the space to breathe feels overwhelmingly-blissful. Sometimes I just want time on my own to do MY STUFF. Being able to blog, and not having eyes peeping. Listening to MY KINDA MUSIC, I’m a rock lover that loves to blast the volume, which seems to be a problem to others. Chatting with my babes on MSN, being able to type shit or even webcamming, without having, yet another pair of eyes around to judge or interrupt. Just spacing out simply requires nobody trying to snap me out of my sudden moment of silence. Oh my, farting without someone commenting about it, feels great! I can almost cry out in happiness to a moment like this.

Don’t be mistaken though, having someone around is great, it’s a privilege for sure. But all the time 24/7 a day… I think I’m gonna explode soon. I feel so suffocated. I feel so stress. Being in the same room, which is tiny. Whatever you do the person is always just right next to you. The only time I have to myself, is during my business in the toilet.

Yet when I’m alone for too long, it gets boring and I just get so annoyed over the fact his not around. I kinda figured I sound damn selfish and I guess I am. What a complexity, I wish there was a way to fix it. Though I do realize, we are the ones that made it complicated. Too much of anything is just bad, simple as that. I need to just get away for awhile. Which reminds me how much I’m still dying to go on a holiday.

Yes, I figured I was using “I” allot. Which once again, reflect on the fact that I sound so self-centered and only care about nobody but myself.

Now thinking about it, the emotional instincts seems to crawl it’s way through my thick skull. How do you mend something that’s too broken to be fixed? All the negativity added together seems almost hopeless for anything to help with the process of healing, let alone, we are talking about a broken heart.

Dear
Korrey Tan,

You might seem to be just another boy on the street & you probably are. But Bibiboy, don’t be sad… cause at least you’re someone special in certain someone’s heart & that’s what that matters!

Our anniversary might not be as dreamy as I expected. I didn’t receive any Juicy, Prada or Tiffany & Co. But you gave me somethings money can never buy, the best gift ever; simply you.

I expected a dinner at a posh restaurant, a huge bouquet of black roses & the bill would end up to be at least 500 bucks. Yet, I got stuck with dining at Imperial Treasure Restaurant. Bibiboy, you know I eat in those type of restaurant everyday? I was quite annoyed, but I didn’t say. But when I calmed myself down, I woke up and realised, the price never mattered, cause having you around made it priceless already.

Bibiboy, I might be very materialistic & I’m probably the hardest person for you to ever please. But Bibiboy, I know you always try your very best. And that is why
… I love you.

Bibiboy, thanks for everything. <3

Love always,
Vanessa Wang.

PS, this doesn’t mean you can go on budget! I’m still expensive to maintain! You can’t change that. ;’(

Sometimes I just wanna leave you behind. Somehow you’re holding me back from doing things I hope to achieve. When will you understand? I can’t just keep waiting when I see no hope. How can I tell you, I just want a life. I enjoy being alone. Because now I know I can do wonders, if I tried hard enough.

Maybe I’m selfish. But somethings in life you just can’t forget, & this is one of the things. I lied when I tell you “I forgive you” honestly, I never did. That’s the first lie I told you. I need some attitude adjustment, I can’t deny. But you need to wake up from your little fantasy. Life isn’t as simple as you think. Yet you still take everything for granted. Sadly, sometimes I despise you, but who am I to judge? I’m no better.

Convince me before I walk away, change before I leave in vain. I miss the times when you seem so perfect. But all I see now is disappointment & deception. It might already be too late, I can’t find the courage to trust you all over again.

Didn’t you notice? The bubbly girl you knew 3 years ago has returned, and she misses that gentleman. I found myself again, it’s time for you to find yourself too.

Let’s go back in time.

I’ll never leave you, but I never said I’ll always be there.

Happiness is opening my eyes to a new day.
Happiness is waking up having something planned ahead.
Happiness is knowing you have a purpose in life.
Happiness is how food is a hand reach away.
Happiness is when there’s silence yet everything was said.
Happiness is like chocolate, sweet yet sometimes bitter.
Happiness is shown in tiny little ways.
Happiness is simple, if you learn to appreciate.

Happiness to me, is when I see your face. <3

I feel so blissful. ^__^

When everything seems so wrong, it became so right. I guess when you least expect for something and a miracle strikes. That’s when you truly understand how wonderful life can really be? Gonna hold it tightly in my hands, not gonna let it slip away this time. It’s mine and I’m gonna make the best out of it. <3

I’m so thankful that I always get what I want. Yet I hardly treasure them. Humans are so contradicting. Hee. Sometimes I think god is really looking over me. I’m so unworthy, I shouldn’t be so blessed. But still I’m sooooo contented! Do you know that sort of happiness, where you’re surrounded by lots of sweet stuff? Then a huge wide smile appears on your face, like you’ve strike gold? That’s how I feel! Soooo sweeeeeet. I just feel like hugging everyone around me! …But I’m all alone atm! hehehehe. (:

Lovessssss, <3

Why did they ever create ebay?! Why did they create paypal?! In fact… internet shopping is just wrong! but feels soooo RIGHT!

It’s so freaking addictive! Peeps wanna fight with me over an item, that they could get at a cheaper buyout price. It’s just madness? I swear the chill of bidding for stuff is like a drug, once you start it’s impossible to stop. It’s just so hard to admit that you’ve lost.

I just wanna say I’m a victim. I won the bid and I’m a happy ebayer! (:

Can’t just get enough of juicy! The boutique here stinks. Overpriced, period!
I wanna move to California. A dream that I can only continue dreaming about. ):

Everything seems so blur, it scares me sometimes.
Has it already become so ridiculous and pointless?
It isn’t hard but it isn’t easy.
Who are you and who I am?
Am I even real, or just a fragment of someones imagination?
I’m missing what I can’t even recall.
How do you retrieve what you don’t remember?
So fragile…
So shattered…
The feeling of being scattered into the ocean’s depths.
I’m lost, hidden.
How do you look for something that you don’t see?
How can you find something, if you don’t even know?

Ohhh iPhone even has application for wordpress. I think very soon I’m gonna be so lazy to switch on the computer.

Life is so boring. I don’t even play games anymore. I can’t feel interest in anything I do. It’s so sad. Has life become so pointless or is it just me? Probably just me eh?

I love the zoo &
I love the animals &
of cause I love the panda hood.

Dada jealous? But know what?

I love the KORREY most!

Dada made a promise that we will go to the zoo every 3months! That’s an obligation he can’t break. So I’ll await my next zoo trip. I’m already missing my cousin, mister and mrs polar bear. ):

Don’t think I’ve forgotten my Phuket and Australia trip! I’m dreaming of the sandy beaches and the kangaroos already. This little Missy is hard to please, but you’re stuck with her. FOREVER. Muahaha.

PS, Dada see your tummy getting from big to bigger? we have grown to sumo-size. Gotta shed some ‘em fats now baby boy. The sadness of loving food. Shall we have a sigh? …. *sighs*

XOXO, LOVEYA!