one word. ALOT.
my dear dear edison.. you used to be my idol.
i really didn’t expect your intelligence is so so low.
who the hell would put those sort of pictures in their laptop and send for repair? my my..
feeling sorry now.. but its really a little TOO LATE right?
then again.. your apologies.. doesnt really feel very sorry.
makes you feel more like a coward. tsk tsk..

those “innocent” girl’s life. has been torned apart because of you. T-T

then again, you probably messed with the wrong girls..
cecilia’s dad is a gangster..
nicholas has underworld backgrounds..
vincy’s uncle is a very angry rich man..
lets just put it short.
your existence in hongkong will not be allowed!

actually i kinda feel sad for edison..
in a strange way.. his considered a innocent party..
cause obviously, the pictures that were taken.. both parties allowed them to be taken.
and seriously if edison wasn’t a celebrity.. if he was just a normal guy like everyone else..
would this had become a “sex scandal”? hmm.. don’t think so (:

my condolences to the girls.. T-T almost all of them are my idols..

for those that wanna view the pictures
www.sgindo.com provides all the pictures that were posted out by the anime loved, Kira
all you need to do is to register. the topic is on 18+ forums. can’t miss it!

hey hey, its already a worldwide issue. might aswell know what’s going on!

love is like a rose
it withers and dies
nothing last forever.

plastic flowers you can give
but it’s artificial and pointless

blissful it may seem
longlasting it can’t be
doubtful you may feel
outcome is still real

loved you once
loved you true
one head turn
and my heart has changed

time continues
it doesn’t stop and wait

love doesn’t last
it’s the bond that keeps us bind

the most precious thing you may recieve
may be the memories you put together
for it is priceless
so be thankful for it

my granny passed away last night..
honestly, i wasn’t really sad.. i was happy– for her.
she has been suffering for so many years, isnt it time for her to take a break?

i kept crying.
but i don’t know whether because she’s gone thats why i cried?
or was it guilt?
for i didn’t want her to be part of my life
for i couldn’t forgive her cause of a small incident
for i have neglected her when she needed me the most
for i have not been there at her worse
for i am too frighten to be near her
for the cruelty of me not even looking at her
for the fact that i erased her from my surroundings
7 deadly sins. for that i don’t even have the rights to mourn for her.

i am the worse.

but i couldnt stop crying.. i kept crying.. alone.
unnessersary tears–
tears that CANNOT bring her back
tears that CANNOT tell her how i feel

memories of her just suddenly juggle up in my mind..
the great food she cooked for me
the jokes we talked about
the gossips we trash about
the random fun trips she brought me along
the unconditional things she did for me–
    every little thing she did for me
the way she cared for me
the way she smiled
the way she laughed
what i really want to say is, i really miss those times we spent together. –the past.
and those memories, every little bit of it.. will always be with me..
she didn’t leave us. she’s always on our minds and in our heart. –no need to be sad.

i know what she really wants us to be.
i remember what she always says, “要开开心心！”
to be happy always. i am happy (:

her last wish
i suddenly wanted my family to be back together again.
but this was a wish i couldnt grant. 

现在说也太迟
但是 “对不起”

我会记得你以前说的话
我会好好的过
我会开心快乐

september1934-16febrary2008.RIP.lovealways.andforever.

sometimes i think my life has become very pathetic..
on chinese new year everyones out celebrating etc.
what do i have? what do i do?
i stay home with my chocolate.. a box of chocolate.. alone.
then again.. i’ve been doing that for 18.. now 19years.
might aswell just stick with it for the next 40years.

i only have my game- world of warcraft, my cutest dog ever and my bf.
everyday i do the same thing over and over again..
then again.. which human isnt doing everything over and over again?
its just different things they are doing..
i might not have a “healthy life style”.. but i have a secure life.. (for now)
although i might be a little unhappy with it.. being useless and all..
i really dont exactly hate it.
i have the cutest dog ever
i have something to keep my day going
and i have the best bf that feeds me
actually.. i have one more very important thing that not many might have..
a sister that secretly cares for me.. even tho shes a very scary fierce tigress. something make me think carefully.. whos always by my side. it was always her..
i love her alot.. T-T even all the quarrels and fights.. i dunno what wouldve become of me without her honestly.. haha.
so.. what else can i ask for?  being a useless person and all.. (:
im strangely contented with the things and people i have
at least i know who are the ones true to me
and who i should regard as loved ones.

as my saying goes.. “being naive can be bliss”
it also relates with being alone, no one can hurt you.

within this four walls, i am here.
oh! how i wish i can be here safe and warm forever,
in this tiny corner of the big big world.
oh! how i wish someone could provide this life for me for sure
.. forever.

but.. it won’t happen.. obviously i know soon.. i’ll need to break out of these four walls one day.. 

Happy chinese new year all! (:

sometimes i wish you would disappear
sometimes i wish you will forever be mine
sometimes i hope you would understand
sometimes i hope for you to feel the way i do
sometimes hopes and wishes do come true
sometimes they don’t
sometimes i think i can’t live without you
sometimes im fickle minded– maybe i’ll be better off without you
sometimes i think im stupid and this is all a waste of time, then i think of the better times
sometimes i love you, sometimes i don’t
sometimes the pain makes me cry, but just seeing you makes me smile
sometimes i really wanted to give up, but i ended up forgiving you
sometimes i get angry but you’ll try to make me laugh
sometimes you do horrible things that scares me
sometimes i’m hurt and how i really envy others
sometimes i realise how no one cares
sometimes i wonder if you will ever know?

there’s no escape, i have to admit
cause’ i think i’m in love with the imperfect you

i just can’t understand.. why must people online lie about their sexuality?
well.. ALOT do!
just that this one special person that i encountered was a little different. in a way the person lied, but in another she didn’t.

been playing alot of World of Warcraft lately. i just suddenly got hooked to it.

so.. it all started with my boredom, cause well.. i completely have no one to talk trash with in this game. (yes its strange, cause i cant stop TALKING. FIRST GAME EVER (that i have no one to talk to)).
(PS, if you’re looking for a game to socialize.. DON’T PLAY World of Warcraft! it’s PURE GRINDING. friendships are IMPOSSIBLE TO BE FORMED HERE. thankyou for you’re attention.)

anyway..

i decided to read guild chat, and well i always read guild chat due to excessive boredom.

one of the guildies, plays a male character.. but only after reading alot then i realised the person was a “girl”.
i started getting curious.
i couldn’t believe that person could ever be a girl.
she is constantly talking about topics, girls wouldn’t be talking very much about it, in that manner unless that girl is a very horny slut and have no self ashame-ness T-T.
obviously i didn’t like the way he/she talked. it’ll be a disgrace for gamer girls all over the world! LOL.XD

then, my boyfriend told me some of the guildies met up with that “GIRL”.
but the funny part was, they immediately turn and run after seeing that person.
and they wouldn’t go into details about how they felt about her.
something smelled fishy there! XD
and finally i snapped.

my crave for knowledge, i couldn’t resist it anymore! i had to get some action going.
and my perfect plan! get her friendster.
and yap! she got friendster (but she ended up not giving me cause of those idiots that spoiled my plot)
so.. my constant curiosity driven me into searching the internet..
btw the internet is a great source of information o_O. you can almost find out anything on it, use it wisely! (:

ahh.. let’s just get down to the point..
after minutes of searching, with luck. i finally came across a blog.
i read abit of it and it only took a couple of seconds till i realised, “this is her blog!”.

i was in total shocked to find out..
yap, she didn’t completely LIE about her sexuality. his just GAY. oops did i say that out loud? ahh snap!
after all that complements about himself.
about the clubbing, wore a white dress and they didn’t wanna go near issue.
many many more things he said that makes me roll on the floor and laugh my head off.

so.. why they turn and run? obviously you got the answer.

and i am not against gays. i am just against people lying to me. T-T
being homosexual isn’t a crime. i have very strong lesbian tendercies too.

it’s time i get some attention. LOL. my evil plot.. muahaha! XDDD
guild chat is gonna slowly start getting a little dramatic. (:

suddenly thought of the past again..

i quited school at the age of 13. all day long i just sit my ass on my chair infront of my computer in my room at home playing online/offline games. taking everything for granted.
some might say i would’ve been in poly by now, if i had not left school.
but what if that isn’t the case? what if i became even worse than i already was?

quiting school was wrong, but everything happens for a reason.
back then i was very childish and i couldn’t get anything into my thick head.
i failed all my classes and i never really cared.
i had no knowledge in many things. no communication with anyone; besides my computer.

many people have told me, the internet/computer is going to destroy me. but i don’t think it did, i believe it saved me.

online games let me have contact with different people, even though they might not be their true self, but what makes you think, people in reality are their true self?

i have met different people from online, in reality from many countries.
different culture, different skin, different way of living. nevertheless they are still the same as i am, we are all just human beings.

my english was good for nothing, before i started playing games.
i even had trouble spelling the word “english”. HA!
but now, i won’t say it’s wonderful, but at least i can spell better and others can understand what i’m writing.

i have knowledge of using photoshop.
i can understand html, php, css and abit of java. which some people don’t even have a clue what it’s about.
i don’t claim to be an expert in these areas. but at least i know things some people don’t.

there are so many pros than cons you can name about the internet.
so, how can you say online games will destroy me?
as long as you know how to maintain the time period on it.
it’ll do more help then harm.

afterall, Bill Gates didn’t create Microsoft to destroy humanity. he created it to help people.

Big head dolls (examples: Pullip dolls, Blanche dolls, Living dead dolls etc.) are so damn cute!! 
BUT I HATE BARBIE DOLLS!
i love these dolls so very much! but its so very hard to find them, and even went i find them.. the price is very lovely too.

the great thing about these dolls is that.. you can redress them, give them new hairstyles, change their eye ball etc.. in other words, modify them to your liking. and of cause.. they are absolutely BEAUTIFUL!

some examples of these dolls on ebay from Jun Planning. im thinking of getting them.. just need to learn how to use ebay now.. hehe
or would someone kind enough buy me them? HEHE.

Pullip June Doll

Pullip Punk Rida Doll

rewatched WWE Raw recently.
and i suddenly remember how much i LOVE the theme song.
i manage to find it on YouTube, so here’s it..

and yes.. im a fan of WWE.
i love the SMACKDOWN!
im a violent little baby girl.
so sue me? HA!