Will you married me? ELISA TOH XIANG YU.
*/me hands elisa a diamond ring, 99 roses and my imaginary many zeros at the end bank book.*

HAHAHAHAHAHA. omg thats a good one. I’m just joking.
I love you Elisa. Thanks for accompanying me. Even though you’re like damn busy and tired, you still find time for me. Really appreciate you for doing that.

Yes.. you too Danny.. no thank you for making me wait. I can wait on the ladies but I don’t wait for guys. Unless you’re gay. BOOYAS. woooot. I do like gays. I really do. XD

Today… I’m somewhat feeling quite “enlighten.” HA!! I looked at the mirror and… saw someone I’ve not seen for many many months. A long lost friend it felt. She finally looked happy again. I almost forgot how cheerful I use to look and feel. And how stupid I can behave… in a good way ok! *cough* act cute *cough* HEY HEY. I’m cute ok. STFU AND DIE.

No more hiding. This is the fat Shynessa. And here’s my secret… I officially put on like 20+kg? I use to wear M now XL is too small. HA. I do care but not really… OK fine I do care alot thats why I never post pictures of the adorable me and hated taking pictures.

3 Idiotic aussies named tuna fish, bao and rambutan on World of Warcraft… actually said something that hit me… as in… it made me speechless. Because… yes, I’m fat and I’m scare to admit. But I’m CUTE… like cute as in cute, not ugly but adorable… shut up you fucking assholes. lol. YES. as long as it makes me happy. I’m still cute. O_O;

Do you feel like slapping me? LOL. cause I kinda wanna slap myself. HA!!

Desmond’s words really did some miracle on me. “keep the good times in mind and hide the bad ones in a little corner behind your heart.” It’s a very simple quote… but yet many find hard to figure. But at least… I finally understood. I will store those words in my mind forever. It brings a smile to my face. Even now I can’t help but to smile. Feeling of relief, like I finally kick away the burden thats pulling me down.

Thank you, my dear friend… which I use to think as a nuthead. You are definately not a nuthead!

Anyway… I figured my blog has become too advertorial-wise-like till my dear friends thinks that Shynessa.com is not really a blog. But in fact it is really just a personal blog. My sister just likes spamming Ads stuff here cause… erm I haven’t figured that out yet.

It’s quite obvious that it’s a personal blog ok. There’s all my emo crap in here, how can it not be a personal blog. Maybe it lacks pictures? and a better layout. hmm..

I just have to say this before I go to sleep…

FUCK IT. I give up.
Weeeee… Feel so much better now. Sorry.

Just wanna scream out loud, feel like crying out loud too.

You know? Desmond just told me his finishing his attachment on tuesday. I would be graduating on tuesday too if I never met you. Yea, I have only myself to blame. Even though you were like the best thing that could happen to me, likewise you’re also the worse too. It’s not about pushing blame really. Ok… so yes! I DO BLAME YOU. Your mere existence destroyed all my hopes. 2years have gone by. Just completely wasted with a blink of an eye.

Honestly, even if it was 10years or a life time. I didn’t think of it as a waste… TILL NOW. You couldn’t even give me a proper breakup excuse. You’re what I call a coward. After 2years and you’re telling me that you’re scare of me? Ohhh.. so it’s my fault that you’re a loser and find me too dominant to handle? Pfft.

I was how I am when I was in Shatec. You in the other hand wasn’t the brave mister nice guy. But the fact is, I did accept you for who you are. And you couldn’t at the end.

“Give me time… I’m putting you on probation.” That sentence just keeps penetrating into my brain. I can’t take it anymore. Whatever you said was so piercing that it’s starting to irritate me now. But you’re right. I completely degraded myself just to try make things right. But yea, it’s because you’re the one thats saying it… thats why it hurts so much. I still feel the needle poking my heart.

Maybe at some time I really did love you wholeheartedly… maybe you did too. But it has just gotten too tiring. I’m tired too. I want to forget that this 2years ever happened. I want to erase it. Maybe I’m going to break down and cry again?

Loved you, still do and always will. But you’re right, weeks or months later… I just won’t think the same anymore. See? for once I agreed with you. (:

note: my blog. i don’t think you can stop me from writing what i want to. that includes you my love. (:

I’m amazed by people that says they aren’t interested in my so called “EMO” personal life.
So anyway, I’m curious.. how you know I am being emo if you weren’t interested in what I wrote? hmm I wonder…

So you did read it.. didn’t you? oh my.. Correct my stupid brain if I’m wrong.

Don’t you realize in Ping.sg .. people that blogs about personal life always gets alot of unique reads? Should they be called barbaric stalkers since they are not reading for curiousity of others life?

If everyones so un-interested with personal life. Why my post had so many readers.

What? trying to protect Princessa from a so called “FLAME” alert? I’m happy for my sister to have so many supporters. But I pity them, cause it was so unnecessary.

Life’s that boring for you eh? Keep thinking of FLAMING?

Get real.

How old already? Grow up la. still think of this sort of childish thing. (more…)